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Friday, March 13, 2009

Limerick Generator

With Spring Break nigh, I'll have lots of time on my hands. That's why I've selflessly decided to become, dear readers, your personal limerick generator. All you have to do is post a topic in the comments and I will grace thee with a poem of sublime brilliance.

24 comments:

Guillermo said...

I'll begin with a suggestion by Rasket.

Spaghetti is simply delicious
It's one of my favorite dishes
Enhance it with pork
and hand me a fork
And my stomach will not be judicious

Clay Parker Jones said...

"Obsequious"

MightyToyCannon said...

When I was a wee laddie, the McKeen household had a book of limericks (some quite bawdy)that I believe may have been a gift from your granddad.

Christina said...

i have no idea but i want one. now.

Guillermo said...

An obsequious clerk who's named Grant
Rolled his eyes through a customer's rant

Though his thoughts turned to killing
And maiming (both thrilling)

His true protestations were scant


Thanks to asshole customer # 164 3/13/09

Christina said...

this is officially my favorite place on the internet now.

Guillermo said...

There was an old fellow from Plano
Who decided to end it with Drano
Against odds he recovered
But quickly discovered
His rear had become a volcano


Sorry, couldnt resist going blue on that one.

Guillermo said...

Yes body limericks were a staple in my house growing up as I recall. Though I'm sure I was too naive to comprehend most of them.

Guillermo said...

Beer whisky tequila gin wine
All of these options are fine
A smattering of each
Puts glee in arm's reach
'Til tomorrow 'cause work starts at nine

Christina said...

write one about frank. was that his name? who tasted our refrigerator?

Christina said...

THIS HAS BEEN KILLING ME ALL DAY. WHAT WAS HIS DAMN NAME?? PHIL??!? ARGHHH
shahe cant remember either.

Christina said...

my friend catherine wants one about pirates or rum
please deliver.

Guillermo said...

An old salty pirate name Frank
Left his bunk after rum by the tank

It was surely his last
When he pissed from the mast

But the night's rain saved him from the plank

Guillermo said...

Wow I just realized how grossly I mispelled "bawdy" a few posts up.

Wait, isn't that a Beastie Boys song--
Body limericks, body limericks, ain't no poem that could breed such dimwits.

Christina said...

i thought you MEANT bawdy. and i think you in fact ruined the and/or situation there grant. have you been drinking?? still... fabulous. i will send them on.

G Dazzle said...

Yeah, you're right.

You placed "or" where an "and" was needed
Don't believe me? Simply re-read it

You see, pirates sans rum
Is like chewing sans gum

The concepts of cliche left unheeded

Anonymous said...

Hmm. I'd like a limerick about air travel. You really are channeling Reido now!

Walker said...

Cliff diving, Axl Rose, and firemen. Not necessarily all at once, but if you can pull it off I commend you.

G Dazzle said...

You will never catch me in the air
A jump is the most I will dare

I will always refrain
From a a ride in a plane

A bike is enough of a scare

G Dazzle said...

Axl Rose was a cliff diving fireman...


I'll leave it at that (actually that was all Rachael)

MightyToyCannon said...

I'll take Walker's bait:

Did you hear about old Axl Rose?
Snorted coke through a fireman’s hose,
Then sang “Sweet Child o’ Mine”
On a cliff ‘bove the brine
'Fore he leapt to his final repose.

Mrs. Jones said...

It's spring again. Time to get the lyrical sap running anew?

Anonymous said...

You are brilliant!
I need a birthday limerick for an Australian woman named June. I was her chef in Paris years ago.

many thanks!

Anonymous said...

I need 1 on embarrassment.