With Spring Break nigh, I'll have lots of time on my hands. That's why I've selflessly decided to become, dear readers, your personal limerick generator. All you have to do is post a topic in the comments and I will grace thee with a poem of sublime brilliance.
24 comments:
I'll begin with a suggestion by Rasket.
Spaghetti is simply delicious
It's one of my favorite dishes
Enhance it with pork
and hand me a fork
And my stomach will not be judicious
"Obsequious"
When I was a wee laddie, the McKeen household had a book of limericks (some quite bawdy)that I believe may have been a gift from your granddad.
i have no idea but i want one. now.
An obsequious clerk who's named Grant
Rolled his eyes through a customer's rant
Though his thoughts turned to killing
And maiming (both thrilling)
His true protestations were scant
Thanks to asshole customer # 164 3/13/09
this is officially my favorite place on the internet now.
There was an old fellow from Plano
Who decided to end it with Drano
Against odds he recovered
But quickly discovered
His rear had become a volcano
Sorry, couldnt resist going blue on that one.
Yes body limericks were a staple in my house growing up as I recall. Though I'm sure I was too naive to comprehend most of them.
Beer whisky tequila gin wine
All of these options are fine
A smattering of each
Puts glee in arm's reach
'Til tomorrow 'cause work starts at nine
write one about frank. was that his name? who tasted our refrigerator?
THIS HAS BEEN KILLING ME ALL DAY. WHAT WAS HIS DAMN NAME?? PHIL??!? ARGHHH
shahe cant remember either.
my friend catherine wants one about pirates or rum
please deliver.
An old salty pirate name Frank
Left his bunk after rum by the tank
It was surely his last
When he pissed from the mast
But the night's rain saved him from the plank
Wow I just realized how grossly I mispelled "bawdy" a few posts up.
Wait, isn't that a Beastie Boys song--
Body limericks, body limericks, ain't no poem that could breed such dimwits.
i thought you MEANT bawdy. and i think you in fact ruined the and/or situation there grant. have you been drinking?? still... fabulous. i will send them on.
Yeah, you're right.
You placed "or" where an "and" was needed
Don't believe me? Simply re-read it
You see, pirates sans rum
Is like chewing sans gum
The concepts of cliche left unheeded
Hmm. I'd like a limerick about air travel. You really are channeling Reido now!
Cliff diving, Axl Rose, and firemen. Not necessarily all at once, but if you can pull it off I commend you.
You will never catch me in the air
A jump is the most I will dare
I will always refrain
From a a ride in a plane
A bike is enough of a scare
Axl Rose was a cliff diving fireman...
I'll leave it at that (actually that was all Rachael)
I'll take Walker's bait:
Did you hear about old Axl Rose?
Snorted coke through a fireman’s hose,
Then sang “Sweet Child o’ Mine”
On a cliff ‘bove the brine
'Fore he leapt to his final repose.
It's spring again. Time to get the lyrical sap running anew?
You are brilliant!
I need a birthday limerick for an Australian woman named June. I was her chef in Paris years ago.
many thanks!
I need 1 on embarrassment.
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