Ugly HSU Landscaping

HSU's new residence halls are lovely - if you're into Midwest business-park aesthetics. But why stop at mediocre architecture when you can install one of the ugliest, most uninspired landscaping designs ever seen?

Read last semester's Lumberjack article about faculty member Pete Haggard's disgruntlement.

I'll be looking further into this project. In the meantime let me vent about the aesthetics.

Though I have to look at "it" every day on my way to school, please note - the HSU groundskeeping staff does not decide the landscaping design process, so they are even more unfairly burdened with maintaining this monstrosity.

[These are low quality phone pics, but the image quality probably glosses over the landscaper's faults - like beer goggles. Click on them for larger views.]

Oh nice. Gravel is one of least favorite ground coverings, especially paired with asphalt (my least favorite). Gravel is also uncontainable and the most skateboard-disagreeable substance on the planet. Sprinklers in these planters ran for most of the month of November.

Dead twigs. That's what I see. When every tree you plant is the same winter deciduous species (maybe the hawthorns the Lumberjack article spoke of? I thought they were sycamores when first planted), 5 months out of the year are a barren tundra.

"These trees might escape if we don't put them in cages."

Also, what's up with HSU planning putting obstacles in every nice, wide sidewalk they develop? I'll take trees over parking meters (B Street is a joke), but the goal should be to make it easier to walk to school. 

And that lawn is yellowing and sickly. Not sure if it's over/under-watered/fertilizered - but if you must put in lawn, don't plant grass that doesn't grow (duh).

The view accompanying your walk along the upcoming Harpst St. Parking Emporium.
Look for a surprise at :15!!!! [Sorry for the motion-sick inducing camera, but you get the point]

...Culminating in this truly inspired planter box. These wilting, pathetically arranged flowers are only outdone by the garish sprinkler heads. What beauty mine eyes behold! 

Let's take a quick glance at some other parts of HSU's campus - similarly manicured, but with a less totalitarian approach.

The steps leading up to Bret Harte House. Variety! Elevation! Color! Shapes! Texture! 

 A tiny planter in front of Bret Harte House. The plants are the ground cover. Sword ferns! I'm guessing that there are more species in this 4x6 foot space than the 6-acre housing project.

One of my favorite pathways at the university - between the library and Telonicher House. Yeah, the parking lot's ugly. And I'm generally not for lawns, but look at those maples and the narrowing perspective. Walking past that white rhododendron is like running a gauntlet of sensual aroma. 

Get a clue, HSU!

My Year of Nic Cage UPDATE

School started and now my leisure time is slipping away faster than this bottle of wine. I'm falling behind on My Year Of Nic, but I've managed to squeeze in two Nic Flicks.

'Crazy Eyes' Leto.

Lord Of War - An implausibly entertaining "biopic." LOW follows the "Blow" model of stuffing a trillion stories into one narrative. Is he a loving father, caring brother and devoted husband? Or is he a genocidal sociopath? Don't wonder. LOW is all about pretty African landscapes, Central Park skylines and badass motherf***ing weapons.

I should have hated LOW, but the only truly bothersome aspect is Jared Leto. He plays a sniveling cokehead like a sniveling cokehead (he puts "Requiem For a Dream" on his resume, obviously). But it was largely enjoyable. Ethan Hawke is great and Nic makes good use of his tough-but-distant family man.

Lord Of War
Nics - 5/10

Rumble Fish - OK, confession time. I have not seen "The Godfather." But am I qualified to write this? Of course!

My point is I'm not familiar with Coppola. Rumblefish is doggedly surreal. It enjoys playing with symbolism and a nearly experimental tone. Stewart Copeland provides a nifty soundtrack, even if it feels anachronistic. The whole film is a potpourris of distinct visual elements, but there's enough emotional charge and fine acting to make the narrative relatable.

Plus it's got an amazing cast - Matt Dillon and Mickey Rourke (both awesome), Diane Lane, Nic Cage (duh), Chris Penn, a super-young looking Larry Fishburne, Tom Waits, Dennis Hopper - RIP.

Rumble Fish - 1983 
7/10 Nics

Rebel Fashion

Northern Africa and the Mideast are dealing with some serious shit right now. Tunisia's governmental collapse and subsequent turmoil in Egypt is scary. Scary. I don't wish to trivialize the upheaval and human suffering, but -with all deference- these protesters look AMAZING.

I stared at this photo for 10 minutes (Moise Saman- NY Times).  It's heartbreaking. But I'm Goddamned if this group of dissenters doesn't look beautiful... Do protesters in Egypt dress this well?

Yes.

Is that an H&M hooded jacket? Purple tee (thanks Eugene) and hand-made balaclava? Fuck Yes. (Grace Kassab, AP)

This group of upstarts is so chic it's beyond words (Zohra Bensemra, Reuters). That keffiyeh is wicked cool. Hoods, ringed sweaters and black jackets are so fucking in right now.

Seriously; 80 million worldly, educated, principled people just lost access to Internet and cellular service in Egypt. They lost their voice. At minimum, pay attention:

The Big Picture

NY Times

Al Jazeera

The Nic Cage Song

Yes, in addition to watching St. Nic's movies, I will be collecting related ephemera, satire, mash-ups, odes, art and kitsch. Starting with the Nic Cage Song.



Thanks to Graham Linehan (@glinner) for the tip-off.

Season of the Witch

OK, yeah. You're reading a declared Nic Cage supporter. But "Season of the Witch,"  currently at 4% on Rotten Tomatoes, is not a 4% movie.

It's sins are obvious: fuzzy CGI, hammy acting, and bad dialogue, usually culminating in atrocious one liners.

But the movie is camp. It's supposed to be overacted and it's not supposed to be taken seriously. Yes, the wolves looked terrible, and the act v twist was incomprehensible, but the bridge scene felt genuinely thrilling and the landscapes were pretty. The makeup and costumes were solid. Nic's hair is good. And Ron Perlman's in it. What more do you want?

Some movies rated higher than "Season of the Witch" on Rotten Tomatoes:

"Gigli" - 7%
"Big Momma's House 2" - 6%
"Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector" - 5%

Oh, and "Bangkok Dangerous" - 9%

No fucking way was "Bangkok Dangerous" better than "Season of the Witch."

Season of the Witch - 2010
4/10 Nics

Knowing

"Knowing" was a welcome follow-up to "Bangkok Dangerous." Not Cage's best, but a solid thriller. The philosophical scope of the picture was too high-minded, but it's a fun watch if you don't revisit plot holes.

"Knowing" has the best end-of-the-world visual effects I've ever seen, primarily because they approached the scene with simplicity. Cage is good in it, if a little understated. Following a crucial discovery, Nic's character is subject to an explosive surprise, that's filmed with an impressive long shot.

Knowing - 2009
6/10 Nics

Bangkok Dangerous

I fought a strong urge to fast forward through the final act of "Bangkok Dangerous." I'm willing to sacrifice substance for style - especially for an action movie - but BK has little of either.

I can't compare it to the original, Thai version, from the same directing duo, the Brothers Pang. Nic Cage plays a lifelong hit man who decides to call it quits after one last job. It's predictable, and maybe that's why the filmmakers make some bizarre choices. Cage's conscience is stirred by a romantic but sterile relationship with a Thai deaf-mute store clerk. She's remarkably adept at reading lips - in English - but the date scenes are strangely one sided.

As far as action - it's rote, quiet and boring. An gondola shootout/chase on a crowded river is the only scene that has any color, tension or originality. Cage's character possesses the superhuman traits of an action hero (never getting hit by the thousands of bullets fired at him), but none of the flourish that an exotic title like "Bangkok Dangerous" promises.

The end is a total head-scratcher. For an assassin who begins the film explaining how to be cold, calculating and inhuman, there's no explanation why his sudden conscience became so strong.

It wasn't a strong start for my year of Nic Cage. May "Bangkok Dangerous" make everything else look stellar by comparison.

Bangkok Dangerous - 2008
1/10 Nics

2011 - The Season of the Nic

I've decided to take on my long-threatened Cage Match: a year of watching all of Nicolas Cage's credited titles. A point of contention in my household, my defense of Saint Nic has led to many fruitless arguments. I'm the first to admit he's been in some terrible movies, but he's amazing, right? That's the challenge - to endure the most loathsome titles in his ouevre.

But Cage has been in terrific movies too. It will be hard to top what's already my favorite movie of his: Adaptation is one of my favorite movies, apart from the Cage list.

Check in regualrly to learn about the best and worst of Cage's career. The must-sees and the avoid-at-all-costs. The mediocre might be the hardest to watch.

Imdb.com lists 66 titles for Cage, including five in development or production, and one slated for release in February. There's a credit for his bit part in Rob Zombie's "Grindhouse" trailer and a few animated films he voiced. I'm putting the animated films on the bottom of my list, as I will consider it a minor ding on my record if I fail to see them.

The order is going to be haphazard, as I'll be choosing what to watch according to how I feel at the time and I don't want to get stuck with all the bombs at the end, or get hung up on titles I can't find. Anything out of print or arduously difficult to track down may have to be stricken from the record. Wish me luck!

I'm going to approach the challenge in order of preference.

18 Noteworthy Film Villains of 2010

A perennial sucker for year-end top ten lists, I will bombard you with a few of my own. First up: noteworthy film villains of 2010:

18. Dieter Von Cunth - "MacGruber" - Terrible name; hilarious send-up of 80s action baddies. How can you not like Val Kilmer?

17. Lotso - Don't let his looks fool you; the arch-villain of "Toy Story 3" is the most bloodcurdling of the series. The replaced and forgotten teddy bear's story is sad, his anger understandable. But his toy gulag is run without sympathy and any heart that he threatens to show is quickly snuffed. "Toy Story 3" contains one of the most tense and unforgiving scenes in any kid's movie.

15-16. Lorenzo/Sweet Tee - "Lottery Ticket" - Lorenzo's no Deebo, but he makes a good meathead bad-boy to Bow Wow's "lucky" scapegoat. But Sweet Tee's the guy that gave me chills - a too-slick fat-cat who keeps the projects under his thumb.

 

12-14. Boggis, Bunce and Bean - One short, one fat and one lean. Created by the brilliant Roald Dahl and adapted by Wes Anderson, this trio of villains aim to kill Mr. Fox. While Bunce and Bean come off as eejits, the sadistic Bean takes to wearing Mr. Fox's tail as a necktie. I didn't know what to expect of "Fantastic Mr. Fox," and loved it. It's gorgeous, hilarious and touching. I guess I'll admit I'm a Wes-ophile.

11. Whiplash - As much as I love The Dude, (can't wait to see True Grit) Mickey Rourke embodies a supervillain better. The vodka-swilling Russian scientist-turned laser-whip-wielding freakshow is written a bit broad, but the Formula One scene is one of the best in any superhero movie.

10. Father - The eerie, surreal plot of "Dogtooth" unfolds slowly. Disbelief turns into calm horror, like the dread that swarms through a Lynch drama. A man whose actions are conceivably noble in aim, the character known only as "Father" is a psychological puppet master. His twisted design is unforgettable. To reveal any more would be a disservice. "Dogtooth" is highly recommended.

3-9. The League of Evil Exes - When I was conjuring this list I was certain my favorite Evil Ex was the Saito twins, the monster-summoning DJs. The fact is, they're all amazing and the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. One of my favorite films of the year, "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" features a septet of terrific villains, from the dancing pirate ("Pirates are in this year!") to J-Schwartz's smarmy record exec.

2. Winter - "Winter's Bone" is on nearly every top ten list of this year, so why not this one? And while the enigmatic Thump Newton is undoubtedly behind of the heinous acts in the film, the true nemesis is the stark landscape of the frozen rural Ozarks. It's grim enough, in subject matter, before the camera drapes a cold blanket of dread across the story. Even if winter does eventually throw our protagonist a bone, it's hard to shake the chill.

1. Dr. Ronald Chevalier - Smug doesn't begin to describe the manuscript-thieving sci-fi author in "Gentlemen Broncos." From his rebuke of a young girl's choice of names for her troll character, to his attempted character assassination of young Benjamin, Chevalier is a deliciously evil comedy villain. "Gentlemen Broncos" is unfairly maligned. It's not the best movie of the year, but it's a must-see.

Runners-Up:

Cyrus - "Cyrus" - Not so much a villain as an Oedipal cock-block, Cyrus is a major drag.

Lieutenant Terence McDonagh - "The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans" - He's too redemptive to be a villain but Nic Cage's madcap performance is awesome. Also in the much-maligned category.

Red Mist - "Kick-Ass" - The Red Mist's turn was tragic. Hopefully he lives up to his closing words in the upcoming "Kick-Ass 2."

Might have made this list if I had gotten around to seeing the films (it's been a busy semester):

Dr. Heiter - "The Human Centipede"


Bronson - "Bronson"

If I missed any, lemme know!

Song of the (last 12) week(s)

Huh? Moments in Advertising

The greatest aspect of this critical drubbing isn't even in the column. It's a perfect example of incongruous Web advertising.

The review is terrific. I love a lambasting with style. "Bad taste doesn't begin to describe the revulsion it evokes when you first hold it in your hands," writes Rutten. Brilliant.

I wonder, then, his reaction to the ads that follow the column, under the dateline. You have to read the column for this to make sense. But in case it changes, here's the "Ads by Google" block that follows Rutten's review:

Lamps Plus®-Official Site
Home Lighting, Furniture and Décor. 1000s of Items Ship Free!
LampsPlus.com/Lamp-Shades

Looking for Lamp Shades?
Shop All Styles & Sizes Online Find the Best Deals Here!
www.Glimpse.com

Drum Lamp Shades - Cheap
Get Great Deals on Lovely Drum Lamp Shades. Save Big on Many Styles!
www.NexTag.com/Drum-Lamp-Shades

WOW!

Rain Radio... G Dazzle Theme Hour

Radiohead - Sit Down, Stand Up

Prince - Purple Rain

BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head

Curley Weaver - Some Rainy Day

Singing in the Rain

Johnnie Ray - Just Walking in the Rain

Irma Thomas - It's Raining

Marty Robbins - September in the Rain

Bobby Darin - Don't Rain On My Parade

Supertramp - It's Raining Again

Eddie Rabbitt - I love a Rainy Night

Steve Young - Montgomery in the Rain

Ryan Adams - Damn, Sam (I love a woman that rains)

Tom Waits - A Little Rain (For Clyde)

The Beatles - Rain

Blind Melon - No Rain

Kings of Leon - Come Around Sundown

What is it about The Kings of Leon that makes them so much fun to listen to? At the risk of deconstruction, I offer this analysis:

1. Simple song structure - the hallmark of a good pop band is taking simple, repetitive chord structures and turning them into something inimitable.

2. Good bass - the best bands know how to weight their instruments. Guitar idolatry is a sin. An alternate harmony bass line is sacrosanct. Especially if you've figured out a clean, organic sound like KOL has. Think "Longview" or "Seven Nation Army." It's all about the bass.

3. Voice - obvious, but a good voice that doesn't insist on album domination allows a huge range.

First impressions: way-past-bed-bottle-of-wine-deep edition:

Totally enjoyable, fun listening. How can you not like this band? A bright summery sound that complements a barbecue, drunken conversation, walk to school or anything in between. As I drove through the northwest Sierras last summer, listening to "Only By the Night," I was overjoyed - this band travels and they make traveling music.

Shades of Huey Lewis, Elvis Costello, the Kinks, the Police and the Avett Brothers. Somehow, KOL evokes favorites without being derivative. The best drinking music I could imagine.

Check out "Come Around Sundown," the latest Kings of Leon record.

Recommended: "Birthday" and "Back Down South"

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass 2010

This year's Hardly Strictly Bluegrass festival had a lot to live up to. It didn't fail. It was as emotionally powerful as ever. And a lot of fun. Here's some pics I took over a couple of days. Be sure to check out The Life of Rasket for some equally (well almost) good pictures of the event. Click on the pictures for the full-size image.

The Carolina Chocolate Drops play old-timey tunes with verve and panache.

Jugs, Jews harp, they are decidedly more low-tech than most of the other bands, even at a bluegrass festival.

With impeccable style, no less.

My favorite crowd shot. There's so much to see in this photo. I especially like the anxious girl in red.

Elvis Costello and Jerry Douglas slayed 'em.

Thanks.

Exene is incredible - a really haunting beautiful sound.

This is a nice stage because it's not overcrowded. You can move around and see the bands from different places.

Exene talked about the Phoenix Hotel. Apparently, she's seen a ghost in her 20+ years staying there.

Exene was one of many to sing songs about L.A. I didn't hear anyone do "If You're Going to San Francisco."

Awesome.

Someone snapping a photo of Patti Smith amongst the throngs.

Go Giants!

Patti Smith is an amazing presence. Her "Play With Fire" cover was exceptional. She drew the most tears, from what I could tell.

Randy Newman. Wonder if he brought that piano from home.

Nice Gillian Welch suspenders.

Lots of stylish people to gawk at.

"I Love L.A." may have sparked some rivalry in the audience.

Dancing to "Stacy's Mom." Fountains of Wayne was a bit of a head-scratcher,

Great Movie Blogs

Aside from the illustrious webpage you're gazing at now, there are quite a few great websites for film buffs. Here are some of my favorites:

IMDB is the go-to site for film information. It's almost always accurate and has great cross-referencing for the who-what-when-where's.

Rotten Tomatoes is a "meta-critic" style site that aggregates professional and amateur reviewers into a nice tidy score. They have some good features and it's a great place to compare professional critics' opinions.

VideoETA shows DVD release dates. It's super useful at my work and when you are holding your breath for the next season of Mad Men to come out.

The AV Club is the Onion's sister publication with game, music, TV, book and movie reviews. They have cool pop culture features like their weekly "inventory" where they come up with pop culture ephemera fitting a certain theme: i.e. "14 Cases of Actors Getting Cut Entirely From Notable Films." Cool stuff but beware: the AV Club has the worst comments board of any respectable website I know.

Sight and Sound is one of the better film magazines in the world. It's the British Film Institute's publication and it has a healthy focus on foreign and art films as well as a conscious respect for the importance of film critique. Unfortunately their website has a limited amount of what the print edition has to offer but there's still some tasty treats (like this awesome feature on filmmaker's favorite soundtracks).

Speaking of soundtracks, Sleazy Listening is a great source of less-noteworthy film scores. As the name suggests it has a focus on b-grade/grindhouse/eurotrash tunes that are often surprisingly good.

Dark Horizons has a good collection of trailers and industry news/gossip. It's really best for the trailers as it collects more than any other site I've found.

If you're into horror it's hard to beat Fangoria and Rue Morgue. Fangoria definitely has horror buff cred but I tend to like the coverage and tone of Rue Morgue a little better. Like other print magazines, their websites have limited features.

The Criterion Collection has a pretty website (as you would expect from their cover art) that's mostly up to sell their (very, very expensive) DVDs and BluRays. But it's fun to drool over and they have fun features where they ask filmmakers to talk about their favorite Criterion movies. It's also a good place to do some "impressive-artsy-party-talk" fact-finding to cover up the fact that I really only watch Hot Tub Machine and the Andy Griffith Show.

Flavorpill is a decent arts/culture website. I actually don't look at their site much but I get a daily email with links to cool sites about pop culture. It's called "Daily Dose" and it's one of the few companies whose newsletter I've ever signed up for and enjoyed.

IFC and Slashfilm are both pretty decent websites that cover the industry and art of film. They deserve a mention.

And as far as critics go, I only regularly read Mick LaSalle in the SF Chronicle and Charlie Meyers in the North Coast Journal. But I also enjoy reading Kenneth Turan (LA Times) and A.O. Scott (NY Times).

I'm sure there are dozens (if not more) of other websites with great content, and I'd love to hear about them. When you get into blogs about specific types of movies/actors/music you start to find some obsessively awesome collections of lore and ephemera. Enjoy!